Kitchen Gear Geek Gifts

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Doctor. I am speechless"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

Tin Opening

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

"Butt cracker"

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

Pocket Knife Food Processor

Swiss Kitchen

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

Motor-blender.

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

Archeology Exhibit. When sifting through landfills, future archeologists will identify the immediate post-pandemic period by the abundant, discarded bread makers.