Kitchen Economist Pillows

'I did a study today, and cooking dinner just isn't cost-effective.'

'For thirty years my mother served nothing but leftovers... The original meal was never found!'

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

Chicago School of Home Economics

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Granny with balanced pie chart

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I'm unable to process this image."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Boy baking a cake.

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'With the economy the way it is, I'm going to have to let one of you go.'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'