Kitchen Chore Jokesters Gifts

Cut out and keep your own Dishwasher.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'I was in the catering corps.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Cook and her Maids

Chef copy robot

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'