Kitchen Catastrophe Fan Gifts

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

It's all gravy.

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

Roasted

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

Disaster in the kitchen.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

Wall Cluck.

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

A shark swims into a desert island.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."