Kitchen Appliance Specialist T-Shirts

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

GMOs: The Next Generation

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Cake Friday!

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

Lockdown casserole

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

The Perfect Foil

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Cooking'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Witch's Brew.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

Tzatzikicicle

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Cookery Lesson.

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'