Kitbash Chemist Gifts

'I told you Memet the west wouldn't realise that these centrifuges make the best aniseed balls we will take over the world production!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Science Fair Judgements

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

Employment recruitment aptitude test

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

Lab safety Rule No. 1

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

Working On Silly String Theory.

Naughty Kid using a bin lid as a catapult.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'Can you feel the electricity in the air?...'

Swing without a tree

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

Chemical term for an unpleasant family of maladjusted alkanes.

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'