Kit Enthusiast Pillows

Snowman built from self-assembly kit.

Football players with The Frilly Knicker Shop on their shirts, "I wish we could change our sponsor"

"If the team in red loses I'll be really upset, because I decided I liked their kit when I was eight years old and never got over it."

"This is the new pre-season, post game, after lunch but before 4pm kit!"

'I want a transfer-I'm fed up wearing this same outfit week after week!'

"Young Frankenstein"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Self help acupuncture

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Claus 2.0

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I didn't spark joy."

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

Tool Box

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."