Kink Explorer T-Shirts

"For God's sake, Edith, I'm trying to read the paper!"

"Personally, I find it very empowering."

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

"We have an arrangement."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Dominatrix

"Alexa, play me what I deserve."

S and M institute

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

'Jeez, honey! I thought we agreed not to bring our work home with us.'

"Kiss me before the biology teacher finds me!"

'Then he realized that he was bi-sexual!'

"Despite her initial concerns, in time, Linda grew to appreciate the endearing qualities of Dan's sleep, sashaying."

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

'Count yourself lucky - he used to SHOOT the messenger.'

A pen metamorphosing into a butterfly

"Please listen carefully, as my menu options have changed."

'Expecting someone, are we?'

'And do you, Donna, promise to love, honor, cherish... and from time to time, upon request, whip the living shit out of this man?'

Man locked in latex costume

"I'm guessing that your version of, 'tying the knot' and mine, are slightly different."

Dentures and foot kissing

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

"Alexa, tell me I'm a bad girl."

"Seen my Brad Pitt mask?"

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

Leather Daddy Long Legs

"Permission to treat the witness like gum stuck to the bottom of my heels?"

'As if the paper shortage isn't bad enough, now I hear there's an ink shortage.'

Kink

"And did that make you feel like a little bitch?"