Kids Play T-Shirts

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Cariactures

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Little league world series of poker.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

Little doctor.

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

'Who gets the decaf?'

"First snowman?"

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."