Kid Chef Pillows

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

'Like death by salad.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Better Not Squash.

Little chef.

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'... Of course, I had to train for this job. I went to sundae school.'

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

Scales

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Ciiiiiilaaaantrooooo."

'Ice cream parlour.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

Making Christmas Pudding.

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

Toddler restaurants

"But if you let me lick everything, you won't have to do any dishes."

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"