Kibble Cook Pillows

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Party time.

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

Fido and Fifi

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

Access Denied!

'It's a spork!'

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Spatula Conductor

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

Please pass the fire extinguisher.

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'Well, duh, here's my problem...instead of non-stick spray, I bought Nun Stick Spray.'

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

Who wants to lick the swatters.

Christmas dinner - Turkey Horror Flicks.

"What is this?... Just in case the doctor wants to know."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'