Keys Kid T-Shirts

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

"Just be yourself."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Hi-yah!"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"Ninja bread men"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

Lamb Noise.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'Remember me?'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

Exercising

"We have the exact same taste."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'