Key Juggler Gifts

Man trying to find the lock in the dark until dog switches on collar light.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"The meeting will come to order."

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Balancing work and family

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

Moving in

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

Brickie's Mate

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'