Ketchup Collector Pillows

'Dont worry; that's not a ketchup stain. It's just blood.'

'Do you have any catsup?'

'These are job perks.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Flying sauces.

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Trillion dollar Dream Merchants - on a screen near you.

What's Their Secret?

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"As one of the best forwarders in the world you can sign any advertising contract you want, but..."

Bear Office Worker

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

Turkey Dinner and gravity

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"Could you let Mitten sit on all your keyboards to see which one she likes?"

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

I always frame yours, J.B.

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'