Keeper Of Details T-Shirts

April fails to get all her ducks in a rowboat

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Sheep Ledger

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Professional woman in pub

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Accountant Manqué

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

Records?

'Lost Diary'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'