Kebab Shop Owner T-Shirts

Vegetarian Kebabs (sawing lump of tree trunk).

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

'Do you have any catsup?'

Freshest ice cream in town!

View to the Future

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Non-Power Breakfast

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Valet park only"

National Coffee Day

Coffee

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

Choice hellhole

"Come in, minion."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

The Deli Llama