Kebab Lover Pillows

'But what if the chancellor refuses to cut your tax rate? Will you really take the business overseas?'

Vegetarian Kebabs

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"Rex always carried a doner card - he was never any good at spelling."

Donor Kebabs

Any time is cake o'clock

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

Eat Beef

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

I bake my own bread.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"How are we on bread?"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Barbecue Fetch

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

Excess Baggage: Take lots of photos on your cruise so you can show folks what you looked like before you gained those 20 pounds.

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

Baker

Placier.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Vegicurious