Karate Carpenter Pillows

"Remedial Karate"

Jack of all trades

Overjumpers

"Hi-yah!"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Women's Martial Arts Center

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

'Remember me?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

D.I.Y

Mod Kwan Doh

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Guide to Carpentry Fish

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

Old Karate Master

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Whittler's Mother.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."