Justice Whisperer Gifts

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Computer Expert

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

'The spots are much clearer.'

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Office full of computers and wires.

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"