Justice Whisperer Gifts

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Computer Expert

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'The spots are much clearer.'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

Where history's best ideas happen.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Office full of computers and wires.

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"