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Behind the scenes at...the Supreme Court'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

''Mobster'? -- I thought I agreed to testify against a lobster!'

QC appointments fall to all time low.

"May we have a moment, your honor. My client hasn't quite memorized the script."

'If the verdict is guilty, Mr. Foreman, simply say 'Guilty.' Please refrain from shouting 'Yer outta here'....'

CCTV on torture cage.

The hangman's badinage

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

"Don't tell me!...You're on the Jack Straw witness protection programme too."

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'

'We find for the defendant, but we're really not too crazy about his claim.'

If it weren't for the Second, we wouldn't need to plea the Fifth.

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'This court hereby sentences you to fifteen months in an imaginary box.'

"Pay attention! This is important!"

"It would appear that the fraudster you released last week should have been his cell mate!"

The hearings on the Supreme Court vacancy will now come to order..."

'Now, don't you get judgmental with ME!'

'So I'm a bank robber -- What about multiculturalism?'

'What more can I say? I want justice, but I'm not about to clamor for it.'

"I want to thank all of you for a fair trial and if you're ever up Leavenworth way don't fail to drop in and see me."