Junk Food Defender Gifts

'...I want friendly personal service. I just don't want anyone to remember they ever saw me before.'

'I was recently at a baseball game and they were shooting my people out of a gun. When does the madness stop!? You'd never see that happening to the soup folk.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

Junk Food

Sawdust.

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

'Lobbyist for 'Big Sugar' is here to see you, congressman. . .'

"Nothing says 'Fourth of July' like beer, hot dogs, and antacids."

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

'Purpose of visit?'

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

'I usually discourage high-fat foods, Mr. Hall, but in your case, a Good Humor bar is in order.'

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

'Do you want a fright with that?'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

'Only 10 hours to go.'

'You order the Party-Sized Plain Doughnut and the Medium Pail-O-Coffee?'

Suicide by overeating.

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

"That Pink Slime I keep hearing about; is that a hamburger or the dessert?"