Junk Food Crusader Gifts

"I hate they're trying to 'protect' us by taking all the candy and chips out of these machines!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We won!"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"They should have quit after deep dish."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

Junk Food

Student Food Pyramid

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

Obese beer drinkers.

"This isn't the binge watching I had in mind."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'