Junk Food Crusader Gifts

"I hate they're trying to 'protect' us by taking all the candy and chips out of these machines!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We won!"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

Junk Food

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Student Food Pyramid

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Obese beer drinkers.

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

"This isn't the binge watching I had in mind."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.