Junior Staff Pillows

'He just had a near-work experience.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'I give this one about three months...'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Busy office.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Targets.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Sales.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'