Junior Executives Pillows

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

Occu-Pie Mars

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"He likes it."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Build Your Own Portfolio

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

My brilliant career

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."