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'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."