Jungle Tactician Pillows

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

Football.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'What a control freak!'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

"So totally gross, yet, so totally cool Dad!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Way too much anthropomorphising

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'I've invented copyright.'

"Every year, the zebras get faster and faster."

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'Quick! Play dead!'

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

'Have fun, but be careful - those things are loaded with nones, keys and loose change.'

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Fox Holes

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

'YOU Tarzan... ME Jane's attorney.'

"Spoilsports"

Heroes of the Afghan War

Chess Trainer

Horse racing is the only sport where a 3 year old can make an adult behave like a baby!

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."