Jungle Musings Pillows

"When the silver screen beckons, and it will, I want my own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame..."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

"Really? Yes, you're a predator, but you're a tad too ambitious right now. Better start with hunting mice buddy!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Rudyard Kipling

Leopards do change their spots

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Way too much anthropomorphising

Human meat.

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

T-Rex of the Apes

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'