Jump Aficionados T-Shirts

'The following have fees outstanding...'

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Giraffe Portrait

Extra Long-jump

Saxophonist playing on the map of Cornwall.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Am I a new parent? No, I'm a new Uber driver taking him to school."

'Mother will catch you!'

Sandra can you step in here a minute and lie on the floor? And bring a ramp.

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

"Slithering is okay but jumping is more fun."

'Let go of the pole!'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Duel in the snow with snow shovels.

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

Jazzy Crossing: A group of jazz dancers cross the road at a Jazzy Crossing sign in a very Jazzy way

A bit pre festive isn't it?

It's over the hurdle not under...

"Yes, I can multi-task. Why do you ask?"

"Hunters use snow to their advantage. I use it to mine."

'Four million years and an amphibian crammed ashore and developed into homosapiens so I see no point whatsover to go back!'

Equestrian cheats by using a staircase instead of jumping over the jump.

George Melly.

Amy Winehouse

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

'Jogging is a great exercise for a tit man!'

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'

'Now, let's try a Waltz. Don't worry about me though, I'm wearing safety boots...'

'I'm going to take a wild guess and say 'dressage'.'

"He won't go any higher, he's got vertigo."

Clara and the Nutcracker

'I can see you have a drinking problem.'