Juggling Family Duties T-Shirts

'Why aren't you out moonlighting?'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Decorating with Children

'Still having problems finding day care?'

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

'It's all right, I'm just a little behind.'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'We need a dog!'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

'I was told you were looking for a man of many hats.'

You're supposed to read him a bedtime story at HIS bedtime.

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

Working Moms

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

Because Daddy loves you, Sweetie, he can always spare a minute and thirty seconds.

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"