Juggling Family Duties Mugs

'Why aren't you out moonlighting?'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Still having problems finding day care?'

Decorating with Children

'It's all right, I'm just a little behind.'

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'We need a dog!'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

'I was told you were looking for a man of many hats.'

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

Working Moms

'Your wife called while you were out, sir -- she loves you and wants to know where the hell you put the car keys.'

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

Because Daddy loves you, Sweetie, he can always spare a minute and thirty seconds.

Fresh Food and Regurgitated