Judicial Satire Fan Pillows

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The Supreme Flip Flop!

Lord Chancellor

Trial by Media

Yawning barristers in court

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

Antonin Scalia

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

The annual running of the lawyers.

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'Littering, Your Honor.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

Out of Court Settlement

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

Man behind desk has glass case with Lawyer Repellant

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

'And that m'lord concludes the case for the defence. . . '

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."