Judicial Joker Prints

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

'As we're running late for lunch, I'm going to dispense with the case for the defence, and go straight to sentencing.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"I know you're appointed for life, but you can take your robe off now."

"Judge Viles goes to great lengths to obtain an unbiased verdict."

'Uh, Uh. . . the motion of Ms. Jones' client is granted.'

'We're adjourning at 1:30 for naptime.'

'Okay, the jury acquitted you, but I'm going to hold you five years for questioning.'

"I need some time off. I'm going to recuse myself."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Get crazy once in a while

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

A baby in court

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Arrogant junior barrister

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Repeat after me..."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'