Joyful Graduate Pillows

Big Bang Theory.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"I just take Tommy's computer here and hit delete. I haven't eaten homework in years!"

Day one, post grad

Teacher and students.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'...Or not.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Student to teacher: 'After Accelerated Math I think I deserve a rest.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'