Journey Contemplator Gifts

From here to infirmity.

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

Heading off with a packed bag

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

All we have in life is this moment...

'Have you been working out?'

Rainbow/Horizon

"Great, now we're lost."

Chill Out Worshippers!

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

"I started out on a molehill - What about you?"

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

Discomfort zone.

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"The first step toward enlightenment is dissillusionment."

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Zen Kitten