Journal Aficionado T-Shirts

'I think I'll write it up for 'The Journal of Controversial Research'.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Oligarchy

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Stephen Spender.

Gunter Grass

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Man Reading Laptop.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Treasure Island Book.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

Noel Coward.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

My Literary Influences

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Ironing Punctuation

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Editor.

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."