Jolly Snack Collector T-Shirts

"No, these aren't presents. This is my lunch."

Little league world series of poker.

Super Heroes.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Ball as water-melon.

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

Jesus and the Peeps

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Steroids."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

Halloween.

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

"Miss Smith - a Cup of tea and a plate of obscenely rich tea biscuits!"

"I'm trying to figure out a way to go trick-or-treating through Google Earth. That way I can do it globally to get more candy."

My folks keep all the good stuff over the fridge! Chips, pop, candy, wine...'

Happy Halloween.

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

Chocolate Easter Bunnies multiplying

"Can I have some arm candy?"