Jolly Chef T-Shirts

Jester cooks using book called 'Fool-proof Cooking'.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'Now it fits.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

Christmas Canapes

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

Football Pudding

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

'He's our newest recruit, a specialist in multi-jurisdictional consumer products..'

The Wokking Dead

'Leave us alone, you big bully!'

Home on the Range.

'My mum's not very hygienic... She cooks carrots and peas in the same pot!'

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

BBQ