Jolly Chef T-Shirts

Hamburger HelperSanta Helper.

Jester cooks using book called 'Fool-proof Cooking'.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'Now it fits.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

Christmas Canapes

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

Football Pudding

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

'He's our newest recruit, a specialist in multi-jurisdictional consumer products..'

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

The Wokking Dead

'Leave us alone, you big bully!'

Home on the Range.

'My mum's not very hygienic... She cooks carrots and peas in the same pot!'