Joking Jogger T-Shirts

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Bed Spread"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Women in a cross country race

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Jogging Bottoms

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Robber on treadmill

"I hate this time of year."

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

Running

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

False encouragement.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."