Joking Genius About Wealth Gifts

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Money Bar.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

White Collar Crime.

The Euro - R.I.P.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Falling graphs.

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'Would you please wipe away this difference?'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

"He downgraded Apple."

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'