Jokesters About Money Matters Prints

'I think my parents are feeling the pinch of college tuition. They're talking about return on investment.'

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Luck of the IRS.

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

The Recession Hole.

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

'Before I give you the bill,do you suffer from heart trouble, high blood pressure,or sudden shock syndrome?'

"They call the dollar stable and you know what's in the stable."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

Dollar sign balloon.

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

Economists explain the National Debt: 'Don't Worry! Be Happy!'

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

'I wish I had my money back...'

"My advice, don't marry for money. You can borrow it for 3.5%."

Computer that runs on money.

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor