Jokester Of The Plains Prints

"Well, well! Looks like someone's not a happy camper! Get it? Happy camper? We're camping? Happy...cam...ahem..."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Fleas Navidad.

"Merry Christmas"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"You think it's tough down there?"

Clandestine cows.

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

'What, not even a kiss first?'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Elf of the Month

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"Maybe this year..."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'