Jokesmith Gifts

Armored knight's shield Severe Tire Damage.

'You were extremely funny. It's a pity the butt of your humor was me.'

'Okay, Bert...one more. Then it's right back to surgery for this guy.'

Testing, testing ... Man pretending elephant's trunk is a microphone.

'Would you believe a Roller Boot Sale?'

'OK, who's that at the back not clowning around?'

"I'm so unlucky, even the speaking clock hung up on me. . .!"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I've got writer's block."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

Some card-game puns

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!