Joker Sniffers Mugs

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Night of the Latkes

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

E=Emcee Squared

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Ice-Cube-IV

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Santa Claws...

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

Jim's Smart Kettle

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

Skiing

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

'When you said we were having a turkey for Christmas dinner I didn't think you meant your Uncle George!'