Joke Sharing Gifts

'I got involved in a pump and dump scheme but I thought it was a new liposuction procedure.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Intelligent people laugh too!

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'He likes to power nap.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Backfire

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

'Your shoe's untied.'

Snowprov