Joint Chief Pillows

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."