Joining A Religious Order Pillows

"You're a bride of Jesus now? Well....I hope the guy earns enough to feed a family!"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Monk Prompt

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Gates of heaven

"So, you're the new guy. My sources tell me you bring a lot to the mat."

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"Let's start a small group."

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

A frat party at an online university

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

"I thought celibacy only happened if you got married."

"Don't even think about going over my head Brother James."

"Of course, after I became a PETA member I had to get rid of the heads."

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

'Verger, give me a hand to move the font over a bit. . .'

"He's our funksoul brother."

"I'll grab the rest. It's impossible to have just one."

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

"Hi darling. Well, the good news is that the job centre finally found me a job..."

"Welcome to the Lord's House. Now in high definition."