Jogging Jokesters Prints

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

'Exercise without pain? But what would the point be?'

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"I hate this time of year."

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'