Jockey Mugs

First past the post.

'Knee replacement huh? I'm pretty sure Thunder wasn't given that was an option.'

"Retirement is great, and I don't miss the races really: I do miss the roar of the crowd though..."

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Horseriding for Beginners.

"If we didn't have a first past the post system I'd beat you everytime."

"Injuries are a tricky business. Break a leg and they shoot you; twist an ankle and they put you out to stud."

"Noooooooooooooooo!"

'You want me to make the horse's nose LONGER?'

Jockey with blinkers.

'How's your job at the stables?' - 'I'd better dash. My work is piling up.'

Jockey trying to push a horse over a jump.

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

Huntsman falling off his horse

Horseradishes guaranteed 100% horse free!

'Say 'Please'.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'Remember what I said about opening the correct half!'

'Oh, sorry - I'm getting my London Marathons mixed up with my Grand Nationals.'

"You had no trouble making the weight then?"

'It's about time horses in equestrian events got the medals.'

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'Well this could be a problem.'

"It's their big annual event—the Run for the Roses."

Horse racing.

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I don't like photo finishes: I never look good in them...'

'Frankly, medals are more trouble than they're worth. They bonk me in the head whenever I trot.'

Hints for the Park.

'Faster, our past is catching up with us!'

'I want to win as much as he does: I don't understand why he thinks it helps to whip me!'