Job Seeker Guru Pillows

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

How are you at decision making?

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I don't like your application."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

In and Out Sourced.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'