Job Saving Pillows

'Actually, the entire department was scheduled to be shut down until Bill, our resident genius, saved all our jobs by figuring out a way to get us designated as a protected wetland!'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

British savings accounts

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Very Difficult Conversations

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

A little something aside for a rainy day